You'll Never Believe This (Okay, Maybe You Will)

Every week, Awful Announcing does his little college football announcer quotes, The Pam Ward Chronicles. Apparently, Ohio State Sports Network sideline reporter Marty Bannister took a peek. This is the quote that made it on AA's contest 3 weeks back.

"Buckeyes almost double the Spartans in yardage, 348 to 112."
- MB

Now I get this e-mail 2 days ago from the man himself:

"Mookie"....

thanks so much for pointing out my error in "math"
during the Ohio State/Michigan State game. I'm glad
you were listening ((closely)) I'll try and do a much
better job in the future so you won't see the need to
point anything else out I say. Out of curiosity, why
were you listening to us??....and what do you have
against sideline reporters?? lol

Marty Bannister
Ohio State Sports Radio Network

Very nice, I get an e-mail from a radio personality in Ohio. Too bad I didn't catch that mistake. Here was my follow up response:

Mr. Bannister,

Thank you for giving me credit for something I didn't catch. Sadly, I live in the Seattle Area (and am miserably subjected to now 3 years of watching the Washington Huskies stink up the place AND get pounded by OSU), so it would be virtually impossible for me to listen and catch that mistake.

Anyway, the comment system works under the poster's comment first, then the poster's name, not the other way around. The person you are looking for had written anonymously, so I cannot give out his/her e-mail address and give that person credit. I apologize for the confusion, and hopefully I've clarified this matter with you and the OSU Sports Network.

Oh, and trust me Mr. Bannister, it's not just the sideline reporters, it's a lot of other stuff in the TV world as well.

Sincerely,

Mookie


P.S: This didn't make it to any of the radio shows on the network did it?

I haven't had a response since, but it's always great to get credit for something I didn't catch.

Happy Halloween

15 laterals, 2 announcers, thousands of fans, the fun begins.

I Guess Arizona Was Overpopulated

I check the Seattle Times website this morning, and I just happen to see this headline...

Pac-10 Football Preview | Arizona tests Trojans

Arizona tests Trojans eh? So it's a step in the right direction when it comes to cutting down on fertility rates.

Okay........

Northern Iowa faced Iowa last year on ESPN U (which explains why I don't know who the announcers are). NIU is about to punt on this play, listen to the analyst here with the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

Yes Mike Patrick, What is Going on With Britney

This video pretty much speaks for itself.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

0-4. Yep, Notre Dame are kicking butts and taking names with Jimmy Clausen.

Dang It!

33-14, Buckeyes over the Huskies. Jake Locker throws 500 picks, UW can't stop the run or pass, and now we limp into Pac-10 play. The insulting part, was that the run that was supposed to run out the clock for OSU, turned into a TD to make it 33-14.

What the Huskies did right: Well......Locker ran for 108 yards, but that's about it.

What the Huskies did wrong: A lot of stuff. Four turnovers by UW, 3 made by Locker. The Dawgs allowed 253 yards rushing and 226 yards passing. They were killed by draw plays to running backs Chris Wells and Maurice Wells. Washington had zero sacks on the day, and zero turnovers.

What the Buckeyes did right: Just about everything, mainly defensive stops.

What the Buckeyes did wrong: They couldn't get Ed Cunningham from the ESPN booth to shut up.

Player of the game: Chris Wells. 26 carries, 140 yards, TD.

Next game for the Dawgs: @ UCLA.

Next game for the Buckeyes: Northwestern (AKA, another pounding)

College Football Headlines in the Year 2020

I'm trying to make this into a series, so we'll continue with college football.


"Charlie Weis eats new QB after throwing 6th interception in 6 passes. QB's name is Joseph Harrington."


"Lee Corso puts a toy police car on his head to resemble number of Texas Longhorn players getting arrested."


"Brent Musberger (somehow alive), gets carried away, calls touchdown after player is 30 yards clear of everyone, player falls down."


"Michigan loses to local community college."


"Ghost of Bo Schembechler weeps as Michigan finishes 4-8."


"USC QB's last name is Uranus, following Booty and Rectumson."


"Nick Saban simultaneously coaches NFL team and college team."

Fun With Photoshop

The Sports Hernia should win a freaking award for this picture. You can see what the photo is about over here. If I had a stronger computer, I'd love to add the Seattle Mariners (although they are on an improbable 2 game winning streak).

SNAPPED!!!

(Photo from Seattle Times)

TWO wins and ZERO losses BABY!!! Washington upsets #22 Boise State 24-10 at Husky Stadium to snap the longest current winning Division 1-A streak in the nation. Jake Locker threw and ran for a touchdown, and Bronco RB Ian Johnson was shut down as the Dawgs are actually winning games. Locker wasn't as sharp as he was against Syracuse (fumbled once, intercepted once), but the defense was solid throughout, and forced Boise State QB Taylor Tharp to throw 3 picks. The scoring started on a Jake Locker TD run on the opening possession. U-Dub later pulled some trickery, as RB Louis Rankin threw a TD to Quentin Daniels from 16 yards out to make it 14-0. BSU scored their only TD of the game on a Tharp one yard run after Locker coughed the ball up. After a field goal to make it 17-7, the Huskies key play in the 1st half was Locker's 57 yard TD to Marcel Reece to increase the lead to 24-7 in the 2nd quarter. The Broncos had cut the lead to 14 at the half, but the turnovers and a blocked field goal stalled their chances at coming back in this game.

Meanwhile, why are we talking about UW, when we should be talking about Michigan's 0-2 start? Because I'm in Seattle that's why. But, we will give you a visual to what the fans will likely be doing after getting pounded 39-7 against Oregon at home.

Boise State vs. UW isn't Nationally Televised?

But who will be the commentator? It'll be on FSN Northwest and.....no.....it can't be...

BRIAN DAVIS?????!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Enjoy your weekend, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Michigan Drops Out of Top 25

After the stunning lost to Appalachian State, Michigan went from #5, to out of the polls entirely. Here is the new poll from the AP:

1.	Southern Cal (59)	1-0
2.	LSU (5)	1-0
3.	West Virginia (1)	1-0
4.	Florida	1-0
5.	Oklahoma	1-0
5.	Wisconsin	1-0
7.	Texas	1-0
8.	Louisville	1-0
9.	Virginia Tech	1-0
10.	California	1-0
11.	Georgia	1-0
12.	Ohio St.	1-0
13.	UCLA	1-0
14.	Penn St.	1-0
15.	Rutgers	1-0
16.	Nebraska	1-0
17.	Auburn	1-0
18.	Arkansas	1-0
19.	TCU	1-0
20.	Hawaii	1-0
21.	Georgia Tech	1-0
22.	Boise St.	1-0
23.	Texas A&M	1-0
24.	Tennessee	0-1
25.	Clemson	1-0

So Tennessee is the only team that has a 0-1 record but is still in the top 25.


Note: School is tomorrow, so unless I force myself to wake up really early, you won't see this blog updated until late afternoon or evening.

Washington vs. Syracuse: My Two Cents

First written on ArmchairGM

So with the main attraction on Michigan crapping the bed today, I'll focus on the matchup of Washington vs. Syracuse, which was played last night.

UW won the game 42-12 with such ease in the 2nd half. New QB Jake Locker ran for 2 TD's and finished 14-19 for 142 yards. I found him to be very mobile, fast, and accurate with his throws last night. Louis Rankin ran for 3 touchdowns and rushed for over 100 yards. Rankin is quite inconsistent, but that may be due to his injuries last year. This time around, he looked very strong and powered through the Orange defense. As for the defensive line for the Huskies, they ripped up the O-line of Syracuse and ripped up QB Andrew Robinson umpteen times. That was one of the major problems in last year's Husky team, because they couldn't sack anyone. It may have been Syracuse, but UW played very well, and we'll be sure to lose against Boise State.

That was cent #1, here is cent #2.

ESPN 's broadcast turned into an absolute train wreck with Colin Cowherd in the booth. Seriously, what the heck was he doing there? The dude said little of substance and pointed out the obvious a lot. As for Sean McDonough and Chris Spielman, they're both decent broadcasters. but they turned everything into an annoying yak-fest once it was 28-6 UW. Why can't American announcers (it's not just ESPN) shut up? Finally, ESPN should stop cutting away from games (blowout or not) for a chance to see a perfect game in baseball. They wasted 15 minutes because Scott Baker never had a perfect game or a no-hitter. I would like to make some suggestions to fix that.

• No more Cowherd. That was a dumb move and they better not do it again.
• Let the announcers talk about the game. It's a football game, we don't need all this crap that ESPN shoves down our throats. Even if it's 45-3, at least analyze why that happened instead of giving us a tour around the campus. It would be better if there were no announcers honestly.
• No more cutting away so that we can see a baseball pitcher pitch a perfect game. When I last checked, when I wanted to see a historical achievement without interrupting another sport, it was called Sportscenter! It's so annoying when they do it, especially when that achievement doesn't happen. It's just a waste of time. Imagine what would've happened if the UW game was close.

So there you have it, my two cents worth on last night's college football game between the Dub and Syracuse.

Now THAT is Embarrassing

The greatest time of the year in sports, and Michigan utterly messed up in their own stadium. It could be against Iowa or Wisconsin but.......

APPALACHIAN STATE??!

I ain't kidding. 34-32 is your final at Michigan Stadium in what is the biggest upset in college football history. For a school that isn't even in Division 1-A football, the Mountaineers looked terrific in what was supposed to be a walkover. As for Michigan, this is just embarrassing. The worst part, is that they had a chance to win the game, but the field goal was blocked. So there you go, 34-32 is the final score, and for the fans of Michigan.......anyone up for a game of Russian Roulette?


Performance of the day that went to waste:

Mike Hart, RB, Michigan. Over 100 yards and 3 TD's, including what was supposed to be the game winner.

Goat of the day:

Just about everyone who played for Michigan.

YEAH BABY!!! 42-12!!!

(Picture from Seattle Times)

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/huskies/2003863328_webuwfb31.html

WE OWN YOU Syracuse! While the M's are totally crapping the bed, U-Dub and Jake Locker destroy Syracuse on national TV. Full recap this weekend, along with ESPN destroying last night's broadcast limb from limb.

Notable College Football Scores

#2 LSU 45 Mississippi State 0: Mississippi State gets picked off 6 times, as #2 ranked LSU cruised in their first game of the new college football season.

#10 Louisville 73 Murray State 10: Murray put up a good fight, they only lost by 63. Brian Brohm threw for 345 yards and Louisville survived a massive scare.

#18 Rutgers 38 Buffalo 3: Not much to say here. Ray Rice ran for 2 TD's, as the Heisman candidate cruises in their 1st game.

#24 Boise State 56 Weber State 7: Chris Myers wasn't in attendance to spoil a football player's marriage proposal.

UW vs. Syracuse is tonight BABY!

College Football Predictions: Pac-10, BCS Bowls, and Heisman

Wow, the season starts tomorrow. So get ready for ESPN to practically make out with the Big Ten. Anyway, let me make some predictions for this upcoming season.

Pac-10

• The Washington Huskies are going to finish the year 7-6 and make a bowl appearance.
• USC will not win the national title, but will make it to a BCS bowl game.
  
• Wazzu will also make a bowl appearance, finishing 8-4.
• Oregon will still hold the title for ugliest jerseys in history.
• Oregon State will not beat USC again this year.
• Arizona State will crash and burn as usual.
• Stanford will finish with 2 wins instead of 1.
• Arizona will finish 9-3 and will be the surprise of the Pac-10.
• California will beat Tennessee in the opening game, and finish 10-2 with a Rose Bowl trip.
• UCLA are going to struggle and finish 5-7.

Rose Bowl Prediction:

Cal vs. Michigan

BCS Bowl Predictions

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: USC vs. Texas

FedEx Orange Bowl: Florida vs. Wisconsin

National Championship Game: LSU vs. West Virginia

All teams in bold indicate winner.

Heisman Trophy Winner:

Steve Slaton-West Virginia

Bowl games I'd like to see in College Football #3

This is the final part of the trilogy of college football bowl games I'd like to see. Today is a very special one, involving those who help make Awful Announcing the blog that it is.




Ladies and Gentlemen, The Beatles the Corporate networks Announcers Bowl.



Synopsis: You here these blabbermouths talking all the time, criticizing players for dropping the ball, missing an extra point, or throwing an interception. So why not let the talking heads give it a shot on the gridiron? Find 44 announcers, whether it's a play-by-play guy, or a color commentator, let them give it their best shot. Some will be good, some will be ok, some bad, some really bad, and some will be laugh your pants off bad.


Venue: Reliant Stadium, just because I need to pick a venue.


TV: Comedy Central. Most of these guys probably can't catch or throw if their lives depended on it, so for the humor of it all, put it on Comedy Central.

Time: 2:00 EST/11:00 PST

Date: The day after the National Championship game.

Announcers: You've got 2 options. Either the fans who dislike the Joe Buck's of the world, or none at all. You'll be laughing so hard you won't hear the announcers anyway.

Could this parody become true?: Are you kidding me?





Ok, I'm tired of coming up with this stuff, this series is over, I'll just stick to reality.

Bowl Games I'd Like To See in College Football #2

With the increasing number of College Football bowl games, with some of the weirdest sponsors like the papajohns.com bowl, I'm running a new weekly series looking at some bowl games that I'd love to see in December or January.

Last week was the Clorox Toilet Bowl, this week we'll have the 1st bowl game named after a band.


The All-American Rejects Bowl

Venue: Qwest Field, just because I live in the Seattle Area.

TV: CBS

Time: 4:30 EST/ 1:30 PST

Date: The Saturday before the National Championship game.

Announcers: Verne Lundquist and Anyone other than Gary Danielson

Description: It's Selection time, and two 11-1 teams from the Pac-10 are desperate for a national title shot, and then you find out that neither one of them make it, instead getting beat out by a 10-2 SEC team who struggled throughout the season. Since the BCS will (always) have controversy, have the fans decide which 2 rejected teams deserved to go to the national championship, and have them battle it out to have the title of biggest rejection in college football.

The 2 teams that receive a bid: Read last sentence from above.

Could this Parody come true?: Maybe, but not with this name. Something stupider like the Starbucks Mocha Bowl.

So there you have it, parody #2 of a weekly series leading up to the beginning of August. Stay tuned for next week's bowl game: The Family of Networks Announcers Bowl.

Bowl games I'd like to see in College Football

With the increasing number of College Football bowl games, with some of the weirdest sponsors like the papajohns.com bowl, I'm running a new weekly series looking at some bowl games that I'd love to see in December or January.



Our first bowl game is:

The Clorox Toilet Bowl

The 2 teams that win a bid: The 2 lowest ranked teams out of all of the Division I college football.

Date the game will be played: The day before the National Championship game. As a tune-up for the major game, have the "War of the Worst" battle it out to prove that they're not the worst team in all of Division I college football.

TV/Time: Pay-per-view ABC, 8:00 EST/5:00 PST

Announcers: The guys from Monday Night Football, a game with 2 crappy teams, deserve a crappy announcing crew.

Venue: McAfee coliseum in Oakland. If there are 2 terrible teams, it's only fitting that the Raiders get to be the host stadium.

Could this parody eventually come true?: Um, ahhhhhhh, no.

So there you have it, the 1st fake college bowl game created by yours truly, lookout for next week's college bowl game I'd like to see: The All-American Reject's Bowl